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DON’T MARRY; OR, ADVICE AS TO HOW, WHEN AND WHO TO MARRY.

By HILDRETH.

“... The tale that I relate This lesson seems to carry,— Choose not alone a proper mate, But proper time to marry.”

THE SUNNYSIDE SERIES, No. 39. Issued Monthly. October, 1891. Extra. $3.00 per year. Entered at New York Post-Office as second-class matter. Copyright, 1890, by J. S. Ogilvie.

NEW YORK: J. S. OGILVIE, PUBLISHER 57 ROSE STREET.

DON’T MARRY.

BY HILDRETH.

It is not intended to advise against marriage, nor to discourage it. On the contrary, the author believes that marriage is the happiest condition into which mortals can enter when entered into upon a proper foundation, and with a proper partner.

But, in the search for happiness, it is astonishing how many people blunder and take the first step in the wrong direction. The world is full of unhappy marriages, and we are not surprised at this, when we consider how heedlessly thousands of young people rush into that sacred relation.

Many marry from what they term “love,” but it is only a momentary infatuation, a silly, youthful fancy that has no foundation in reason or lasting affection. This sort of love is a mere spasm of the nerves, a temporary fever that passes away as quickly as it came, leaving behind only regret and misery.

When the fever has passed, the couple discover that they have nothing in common. One desires excitement and dissipation; the other seeks the quietude of home life. One desires wealth and extravagance; the other contentment with a modest competence. The one is generous to a fault; the other is penurious. The one is an early riser; the other a lover of late hours. The one is a talker; the other a listener. The one is religious; the other is a scoffer. One is sensible; the other a fool.

In all these cases, when the glamour of the early days has vanished, the truth stands out in bold relief, and the life that was anticipated as a path strewn with roses becomes a thorny and tiresome journey.

It is better to remain single all your days than to enter into the bonds of matrimony under such conditions. The chances are all in favor of your being happier alone than mated to such a person.

In this little volume, we shall endeavor to give some good, sound advice to both young men and young ladies who are looking toward matrimony, and point out some of the rocks upon which so many happy ventures have been wrecked.

We do not claim to have the only true light upon this important subject, but we can at least call attention to the mistakes that others have made, and endeavor to show how they might have been avoided.

Don’t Marry for Beauty Alone.

Beauty is a fleeting gift. It is an outward garment that time will surely wear threadbare. A beautiful face may cover a barren mind or a vicious heart. Many a man has been so blinded by the external charms of a fair woman that he has failed to look beneath the surface, only to discover too late that he has married a painted doll, with nothing good or noble within.

A wife who possesses a beautiful face, but has no head for business, no sense of economy, no desire to make a happy home, will soon prove a curse rather than a blessing. Beauty will not cook your meals, mend your clothes, or soothe your brow when you are sick. Beauty will not assist you in rearing a family. Beauty will not comfort you in old age.

If you marry only for beauty, you will find that your prize is a perishable one, and when the bloom fades, your love will fade with it, unless there is something deeper and more lasting beneath.

Don’t Marry for Money.

This is perhaps the most common and most contemptible reason for contracting marriage. A man marries a woman because she has money, or a woman marries a man because he has money, or because she expects him to make money.

A marriage founded on the basis of dollars and cents is the most precarious of all unions. It lacks soul, sympathy, and true affection. The woman who marries for money often finds that her rich husband is a tyrant, a miser, or a profligate.

The man who marries for money often finds that his wife cares nothing for him, but only for his possessions, and that she is constantly scheming to gain control of his wealth. If the money is lost, the love flies out of the window.

If you marry for money, you have made a bargain, not a marriage. You have sold yourself for a price, and the bargain will not be a pleasant one to keep when the realities of domestic life begin to press upon you.

Don’t Marry a Very Small Man.

This is a point that many overlook. While there is no absolute rule in this matter, it is a fact that very small men are often inclined to be vain, dictatorial, and boastful. They try to compensate for their lack of physical stature by an excess of arrogance.

They are often very jealous, and are likely to look with suspicion upon any attention paid to their wives by taller or more handsomely formed men. A very small man is also sometimes deficient in the qualities that make a good husband—he may be weak in character or uncertain in purpose.

It is not safe to judge a man entirely by his height, but as a general rule, it is better to select a partner who is not conspicuously smaller than yourself.

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